Have not posted in a while...

So I have not posted here in a while. I believe this is because I have not really needed to rant to the world that is the internet. My "friends", as I have called them here, have really helped. I think that I have grown and gotten to know them. Their good qualities definably out weigh there flaws. And they hace seen my rantings and understand me now. It's been great. This really gives me new hope that things can always get better, with time and understanding.
The only unforunate thing is now my parents. Drinking, fighting, and just plain unruliness. Wow sounds like a bunch of college kids, but they are in there 50's. Its just sad, seeing this waste of human life. It only encourages me to leave sooner, and get out of their control while I still can. I think that I am going to study abroad in England in 2010!!! I'm super excited. I can't wait to be a whole ocean away from them!!!!! Oh, and I want to experince a completly new place. I don't know where I will be in England, but I'm definatly going to do this!!
Goals, how they really do pull you out of a lull. Well thats all for now. I will try to update, but I have not always kept that promise, So we will see.....

'The Future is no more uncertain than the present” - Walt Whitman

Next Semester

Wow the summer is almost over and my next semester will be starting soon. I am really excited to move in and start the new year. I know classes will be more challengeing but I think that I have that down, and have learned from last semester. Trying to set some goals for my next semester:

Good Grades (thats always a must)
Try not to tke things to seriously (like my "friends" - who are still my friends; time away heals all wounds)
Meet more people
Join a sorority
Go to some good parties
JUST HAVE FUN!!

Check back to see what I have been doing :)

Connection?

So at the moment I am sitting on my bed, my room mate, and her friends are around being their loud selves and my "friends" are off doing there thing. But I feel like I am becoming disconnected from them. During the week we hang out all of the time. And its great. I feel like they are truly my friends; but then during the weekend they go off to parties, that I am not invited to. And then when I confronted one of them today (saying that I did not want her to abandon me this weekend, shes going to a date party with a guy we barely know and who has a girlfriend too) she told me that I can't pressure her like that. And that I can always go to other parties. But WITH WHO??? My friends don't go to parties with me and I am forced to go to things with my room mate (Shes cool and fun but we have different friends, so I don't know any one at the parties). I don't really know what to do. If I try to make more friends then I feel like I am abandoning them, and I don't wanna do that to them....

so i have not writen in this thing in so long. um, i have been having a good second semester. and i am thinking about joining a sorority. i have a couple in mind (Theta phi chi, Alpha sigma delta, Phi sigma sigma) and i dont if i even like any of them. i have had fun with the ASD girls and i know personally that they dont hazy. i know that most of the TPC girls like me and i would be accepted into their sorority right away, but i dont know about the hazing. and the PSS girls dont seem to want to really get to know me. im not sure. if anyone has any suggestions, theres a comment section right below this entry. hope you can all help.....

Drama with "Friends"

I just don't know anymore. I have some friends that seem to not like me or something. they dont include me in activites, this is because they are on a team. and only do team activities, and only hang out with me when they need someone to do something with (ie eating or hw). i feel like im being used. these are the same people that spent 2 nights at my house and enjoyed my family and all the things that we did together. i feel like they don't appricate my company and dont care about me. how can i have "friends" like this. luckily my relationship with my roommate has gotten better and she doesnt mind me hanging around with her. i talked to one of them about this, and she said that i should join a club or something so i can meet another people and so i will have something to do while they are ignoring our friendship. i think that they just want to keep me busy so i wont nag to them that i feel like i have no friends. i dont know what to do. i went online and looked up some clubs that are in school, and might go to a meeting or two. but probability not, i think its too late in the year to just show up. i will try to go next semester, but what can i do till then? i am going home for thanksgiving, and then we only have 3 weeks left till winter break/the end of fall semester. i think that going to work out has helped me and i plan on sticking with that. im soo glad that i have started to. well, more later when im not so tired.

Oh, how times have changed

Its been so long since my last post. i need to keep up with this thing. well since then: I've started regestering for classes for next semester, I've changed my room around, and gotten closer to my roomie. I've eated alot of junk food, which was pretty much all found in the dining halls, and gotten new shoes, nothing new for me. But besides the fact that life has been speeding by like a jet, I've had some great times. I've seen our girls rugby team [who plays rugby anymore? well brockport does!!] win the state championship, and I've seen them drunk and stubbley on many occasions. I've also seen many in my dorm, a freshman dorm (which is "alcohol free", like that ever happens), drunk as skunks, and I've been there a couple of times. But its all in good fun.
I did want to talk about the 7 college kids in N. Carolina who died in that fire a couple of weeks ago. Its so sad, and tragic, they were sleeping or just trapped. and
that could happen here, in Brockport. I know of many, many house parties where there is not even one sober person. Gosh it feels like theres so many bad things that go on, but so is life.
Well happier times, My new classes for next semester. as an accounting major, I'm not really taking any hard classes, or even any accounting classes. But I know that in 3 years all I will be taking is accounting courses. I wish that they would spread out the general education classes, so that you can take a "fun" general education class every semester; but again so is life. Comment with any rantings of your own, about college life, young or old, questions or comments. Whatevah.

Life Lessons at 18

So you never really realize how much people mean to you until something horrific happens. Today, accutaly about an hour ago one of my friends that goes to school with me found out that her best friend from back home died. No warning, no more talking to her, laughing with her, just seeing and remembering her normally. JUST DEAD! How can something be so tragic. How can everything just pour down all at once. Its funny how life is either great, great, great or its shitty and sucky. Its never in between, its always one end or the other. And to think that just before that I had told my mother that I didn't miss seeing her this week end.